Movie

The Goonies

Name: The Goonies
Released: 1985

1985 • Adventure, Comedy, Family

Woke Score

1.6

out of 10

Plot

Mikey and his friends have always wanted to go on an adventure. One night they are all in Mikey's attic and Mikey stumbles across an old map. Mikey has always wanted to know if One-eyed Willy ever was a real person and now he might. They set off and later realize that they have to go through the evil Mama Fratelli's restaurant to get to a secret passage to the caves. As they try to get into the caves Mama Fratelli catches Chunk and he is left behind. He then meets Sloth one of Mama Fratelli's sons with a messed up face. He befriends Sloth. Meanwhile Mama Fratelli and her sons are trying to get to the treasure too. Will the kids make it there before Mama Fratelli does? Will Chuck ever get out of her basement?

Overall Series Review

The Goonies is a quintessential 1980s adventure story centered on a group of kids attempting to save their working-class neighborhood from foreclosure by a wealthy land developer. The narrative is a straightforward, high-stakes treasure hunt that emphasizes the universal values of friendship, teamwork, and persistence against adult greed and incompetence. The core conflict is an economic one—the poor Goonies versus the rich, unsympathetic developer and the criminal Fratelli family. Character success is overwhelmingly determined by individual skill, bravery, and the bonds of the group, not by a commentary on privilege. The film operates within a traditional moral framework where saving one's home and helping friends are objective goods, while crime and selfish accumulation of wealth are clear evils. The film is structurally traditional in its gender and family roles, with its 'woke' score resting primarily on a few dated elements of character humor and stereotyping that were common in its era.

Categorical Breakdown

Identity Politics3/10

The plot's primary conflict is not about race or immutable characteristics, but about socio-economic class, pitting the low-income Goon Docks residents against a rich developer. The character Data (Richard Wang), an Asian-American, is a genius inventor whose dialogue sometimes plays into the 'broken English' and 'gadget maker' stereotype, which contributes a low-level score. The character Chunk is subjected to body-shaming humor, particularly the 'Truffle Shuffle' ritual. Character merit is ultimately what saves the day, as each Goonie's unique skill is critical to the quest.

Oikophobia1/10

The film's entire motivation is the opposite of civilizational self-hatred, being an effort to save the 'Goon Docks,' the neighborhood, and the main characters' homes from destruction by a new, wealthy country club. The core value is loyalty to one's home, community, and friends, framing these institutions as worthy of defense against external, greedy forces. The ancestors (pirates) are romanticized and their treasure is the instrument of salvation.

Feminism3/10

The female characters, Andy and Stef, are part of the core group but are sometimes framed in secondary or traditionally feminine roles; Andy is initially a love interest, while Stef is the skeptical friend. They are not portrayed as 'Girl Bosses' but as members who contribute to the team, with Andy using her piano playing skill to solve a major puzzle. Mama Fratelli is a powerful female villain and the clear leader of the criminal family, but her role is anti-family and based on evil, not empowerment. The adult masculinity of the older brother, Brand, is protective and never explicitly emasculated.

LGBTQ+1/10

The film contains no open references to alternative sexualities, gender ideology, or deconstruction of the nuclear family. The focus is entirely on the adventure and the friendships of children from traditional family units. Sexual themes are non-existent outside of teenage boys' interests in girls, such as Troy's expressed heterosexual intent toward Andy.

Anti-Theism1/10

The film's moral framework is one of objective good versus evil, where greed (Fratellis, developer) is wrong and selfless friendship and courage (Goonies) are virtues. The narrative does not contain any religious characters, themes, or anti-Christian messaging. The underlying values of faith, perseverance, and loyalty are consistently reinforced as transcendent moral laws, leading to a score of 1.