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The Whole Nine Yards
Movie

The Whole Nine Yards

2000 • Unknown

Woke Score
4
out of 10

Plot

After a mobster agrees to cooperate with an FBI investigation in order to stay out of prison, he's relocated by the authorities to a life of suburban anonymity as part of a witness protection program. It's not long before a couple of his new neighbours figure out his true identity and come knocking to see if he'd be up for one more hit—suburban style.

Overall Series Review

The Whole Nine Yards is a dark, screwball crime comedy centered on a miserable suburban dentist who discovers a notorious mob hitman is his new neighbor. The narrative quickly escalates into a complex plot of double-crosses and murder-for-hire schemes, all motivated by money and the desire to escape bad marriages. The film operates entirely in an amoral and nihilistic universe where success is directly tied to a character's cunning and willingness to shed their ethical inhibitions. There is a strong focus on the subversion of traditional domestic life, with the female characters being the most ruthless and competent operators in the underworld plot. It avoids cultural or political commentary, concentrating entirely on escalating criminal absurdity and black humor.

Categorical Breakdown

Identity Politics2/10

Character value is determined purely by criminal competence and ability to survive a lethal scheme, not by race, class, or other immutable characteristics. A prominent non-white character holds a powerful position within the mob structure without any mention of 'systemic oppression' or a lecture on privilege. The casting is functionally colorblind, and the narrative does not rely on intersectional hierarchy.

Oikophobia2/10

The plot critiques the institution of a miserable suburban marriage and the protagonist's personal financial and marital entrapment. It does not frame Western civilization, the home, or ancestors as fundamentally racist or corrupt. The source of villainy is entirely personal greed and amoral ambition, not a civilizational critique.

Feminism6/10

The core domestic unit is aggressively dismantled, with the protagonist's wife being an actively evil and conniving villain who attempts to hire a hitman to kill her husband. The dental assistant is a highly competent, perfect-in-her-role assassin who treats contract killing as a desirable career, embodying a dark, amoral 'Girl Boss' archetype. The nuclear family structure is vilified for dark comedy purposes.

LGBTQ+2/10

The narrative focuses on toxic male-female relationships, adultery, and murder plots. Sexuality is a private matter, and while there is crude dialogue referencing various sexual acts, the plot does not center on alternative sexual identities. The film does not deconstruct the family through a 'queer theory' lens or lecture on gender ideology.

Anti-Theism7/10

The entire story is built on a foundation of moral relativism where all main characters succeed by being utterly amoral, deceptive, and willing to commit and cover up multiple murders. Criminality and amoral cunning are explicitly rewarded with wealth and happiness, establishing a thoroughly nihilistic worldview where there is no objective truth or higher moral law.