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Van Helsing
Movie

Van Helsing

2004 • Action, Adventure, Fantasy

Woke Score
2.2
out of 10

Plot

Van Helsing is in the world to rid all evil, even if not everyone agrees with him. The Vatican sends the monster hunter and his ally, Carl, to Transylvania. They have been sent to this land to stop the powerful Count Dracula. Whilst there they join forces with a Gypsy Princess called Anna Valerious, who is determined to end an ancient curse on her family by destroying the vampire. They just don't know how!

Overall Series Review

Van Helsing is a high-octane monster mash-up from 2004 that blends classic Gothic horror with over-the-top action and CGI. The story centers on Gabriel Van Helsing, a monster hunter operating for a secret Catholic order from the Vatican, who is sent to Transylvania to defeat Count Dracula and protect the last surviving member of an ancient Romanian family, Anna Valerious. The narrative is driven by a straightforward battle of transcendent good versus evil, a universal fight that relies on traditional religious iconography and morality. The focus is squarely on pulpy action and combining famous Universal Monsters into a single epic. Anna is an incredibly capable female lead, a warrior who stands as an equal to the male protagonist, but her motivation is tied directly to lifting a curse on her family line, upholding a traditional lineage structure. The film is irreverent and action-packed, often taking liberties with religious dogma and historical lore for dramatic effect, but it maintains a foundational belief in objective evil and the necessity of a Holy Order to combat it. It does not engage with modern ideological concepts; characters are defined by their destiny and commitment to fighting monsters.

Categorical Breakdown

Identity Politics1/10

The movie operates on a universal good-versus-evil meritocracy. The heroes—a white male, a white female, and a friar—are judged entirely by their competence and commitment to their shared mission. There is no focus on immutable characteristics, intersectional hierarchy, or vilification of 'whiteness.' Casting is colorblind in the traditional sense, focused on dramatic utility in a Gothic European setting.

Oikophobia2/10

The central conflict involves Van Helsing working for a powerful Western institution, the Vatican's Holy Order, to protect Western civilization (Transylvania/Europe) from an ancient aristocratic European villain, Dracula. Institutions of faith and family lineage (the Valerious family curse) are viewed as sacred shields against chaos and eternal damnation. The threat is internal, not a 'Noble Savage' or spiritually superior 'Other.'

Feminism3/10

Anna Valerious is a hyper-competent female warrior, a 'Gypsy Princess' who fights alongside and sometimes independently of the male lead. She is highly skilled and not a bumbling subordinate, aligning with the 'Girl Boss' trope. However, the male lead, Van Helsing, is equally competent and the pair operate as a complementary duo. Anna's core motivation is to honor and save her family lineage, which prevents the narrative from pushing an anti-natalist or anti-family message.

LGBTQ+1/10

The narrative centers entirely on the heterosexual relationship between Van Helsing and Anna Valerious and the importance of the traditional family line (the Valerious family) and its curse. There are no characters or plot points that center on alternative sexualities, deconstruct the nuclear family, or engage in gender ideology lecturing. The structure is strictly normative.

Anti-Theism4/10

The Holy Order (Vatican) is the primary institution of good, actively fighting evil on a grand scale, which establishes a transcendent moral framework. Faith is a source of weapons and motivation. However, the film is irreverent and bombastic, featuring a friar sidekick who violates his vows and a Cardinal who is more of a ruthless intelligence agent. This irreverence and use of 'unbiblical' elements for pulp entertainment are present, but the narrative’s foundation is still objective good and evil, not moral relativism or the wholesale demonization of Christianity as the root of all evil.