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London Calling
Movie

London Calling

2025 • Action, Comedy, Drama

Woke Score
1
out of 10

Plot

After fleeing the UK from a job gone wrong, a down on his luck hitman is forced to babysit the son of his new crime boss and show him how to become a man.

Overall Series Review

The movie is a straightforward action-comedy built on the classic trope of an unlikely male mentorship, centering on the goal of teaching a socially awkward teenager 'how to become a man'. The protagonist’s central motivation is his desperate desire to return to his own son and family in London, grounding the narrative in themes of familial loyalty and protection. The plot is driven by character competence and personal circumstances in the criminal underworld, not by race, gender, or sexual politics. The dynamic focuses on traditional male-male bonding as the core source of the comedy and emotional anchor. The main conflict involving a spiritual element features a legendary hitman targeted because his new religious faith threatens to expose the crime syndicate, framing faith as a plot-inconvenience for the criminals rather than a source of evil.

Categorical Breakdown

Identity Politics1/10

Universal Meritocracy is the core narrative structure. The protagonist’s success or failure is tied to his competence as a hitman and his personal drive to return to his family. The narrative explicitly focuses on a mentor-protégé relationship defined by the goal of making the boy 'a man', with no reliance on intersectional hierarchy or vilification of white males. Casting of the main roles is colorblind within the context of the story's British/American crime setting.

Oikophobia1/10

The protagonist's main goal is to secure safe passage back to London to see his family and son. His home culture (the UK) is not demonized, but rather treated as the location of his primary loyalty and familial anchor. The focus is on personal crime and loyalty, not a critique of Western civilization.

Feminism1/10

The core theme is an explicit study in masculinity, focusing on an older male teaching a younger male 'how to become a man.' The protagonist's sole personal drive is the bond with his young son and the desire to be a father again. Masculinity is protective and central to the plot, and there is no indication of a 'Girl Boss' lead or anti-natalist messaging. Men and women are distinct, and masculinity is celebrated.

LGBTQ+1/10

The plot centers entirely on the male-male mentor-protégé bond and the protagonist's male-centric family. The teenager's awkwardness is expressed through hobbies like LARPing and Fortnite, not alternative sexualities or gender identity. The nuclear family (father-son relationship) is treated as the normative and desired structure.

Anti-Theism3/10

The morality of the film is subjective, as is common in the crime/action-comedy genre. A legendary assassin becomes a target only because his 'religious epiphany' causes him to consider revealing past crimes, making his faith a logistical problem for the crime bosses, not a source of inherent evil. Faith is a catalyst for confession, not a villain in itself.